After my OGR my story has had to go through another rewrite but only to fix some points that didn't fit with the overall plot. Story Idea A light house keeper and his young daughter are setting up and turning on the lantern of the light house as a storm starts to roll in. As they watch the storm from inside their home the keeper spots a boat that’s in trouble and is heading for the rocks. The man tells his daughter to stay in the light house no matter what happens as he goes out to help. The young girl watches from the window as the storm becomes more wild and the waves violently hit the rocks. Years later, in the present, we see that the girl has now grown up. She is seen standing in front of her father’s grave showing that he didn’t survive, it is also shown that she has become a light house keeper herself to carry on his memory and to protect others from the same fate. However, the grief of her loss is still with her as she now spends all of her days and nights locked awa...
OGR 17/03/17
ReplyDeleteHi Rhia,
Apologies for missing you out... nothing personal, I assure you :) I know from having left a comment on a later post, that it's your intention to stage the cell-cycle from the POV of one of the check-point sensors - is that still true? I think that's a nice idea, because it will enable you to sort of 'x-ray' what's going on inside the cell, a bit like the view the security people have at airports of the contents of people's luggage! I like all the conveyor belt-inspired thumbnails and I think you need to drop any kind of characterisation of the actual cells (so avoiding faces and limbs etc), as the metaphor of the conveyor belt is enough. In design terms, it does appear as if you've got a bit of a Metropolis/dystopian element getting started in terms of the 'hardware' of your story-world and I would just ask you to reflect on this, because really, these systems are in place to keep the body safe, so do they have to look so unfriendly? You might want to look at Wall-E for some examples of friendlier, more benign views of 'helpful technology' - I think it will help you too to consider how you might get some character in the machines, again, in a more reassuring way:
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/fc/16/05/fc16051c6d36f1c757c9c5c8934680e3.jpg
http://orig04.deviantart.net/38f1/f/2013/270/a/f/wall_e_by_theresonly1cryo-d68pnkp.png
http://www.notcot.com/images/2008/06/wall-e4.jpg
As this technology is derived from organic elements (i.e. what's inside us) you might want to consider looking much more at technology that is softer, kinder and more ergonomic (so less industrial and negative-looking):
The other thing you're going to need to look at is interface design and ways to convey the x-ray-ness of what the sensor is seeing: that might mean stuff like this:
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4t5j9HmhE1qzozj1.png
https://0.s3.envato.com/files/108870069/preview.jpg
http://i.vimeocdn.com/video/516833586_1280x720.jpg
or this:
https://xraypics.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/albert-koetsier.jpg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0sjj0bc0Z4
The idea of a screen or interface is great, because it means you can introduce text elements and labelling as part of your world, as opposed to slapping it on in a Powerpoint way. In addition to looking at all of the above, you should look too at big industrial conveyor-belts etc for more referencing - and also perhaps to get a sense of the mass scale of the operation you're envisioning:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1xnGWJxW4g
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnqT5arz_sM
In short, I think this is a really nice idea - really good way of getting information across - but I just want you to think about your visual concept a bit more, because at the moment there's a tendency in your designs to make this process look rather bleak and invasive (CCTV screens, horrid old street lamp looking things...) when I think looking at the tech of Wall-E and Apple products etc. might help you keep things softer and more 'humane'.